L.A. Wanker Damages LILYS!
| Updated: Thurs, July 26 04:37 PM EDT |
Tim Burgess - Class A Wanker
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LOS ANGELES (Sonicpress) - Radio 4 last weekend presented Alan Magee's latest, the Ping Pong Bitches and the fabulous Lilys at one of Hollywood Blvds premiere showcase venues. This rock star gala event saw the likes of Alexander Mann, Rolan Bolan, Tommy D, Tim Burgess (Charlatans UK), and Anton (Tony) "King of all Seen" Newcombe, among other notables. DJ Alan spun marvelously. Later, the Ping Pong Bitches rocked the karaoke mic to fat beats and Kevin Shields' guitar riffs.
But the main attraction, by far, was the Lilys. Lead singer Kurt Heasley, having just been rushed from the airport, gave a riveting performance, while his back up band, featuring members of the Beachwood Sparks, made the floor move to an insatiable groove. All was well, all were quite pleased.
Kurt Heasley - Sucker punched by gutless Wanker
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During the back stage bash, LA Wanker Tim Burgess was seen throwing his "has been" weight around. The promoter, who also happens to be Mrs. Burgess, came 'round to pay the lads for a hard days work. Alexander Mann and members of L.A. new sensation hitmakers "Morrocan" were witnesses on the scene. An open announcement of poor attendence rang sour in the ears of those sweating on the crowded floor. The Lilys were not to be paid in full, although the promoters were contractually obligated to do so. "It was awful. Kurt tried to reason with Mrs. Burgess. After all, a guarantee is a guarantee. Where I come from, a group will go to the promoter's home to collect, if you know what I mean." -A. Mann
The Lilys, being the gentlemen they are, were cordial, and made the appropriate threat of legal action. Upon hearing this, the Charlatans UK front man assaulted Kurt with a hefty blow to the face, after which, security became quickly involved to sedate the sun burned WANKER. Some onlookers immediately stated his motivation was that of "jealousy from his failed career as a two-bit Ian Brown look-alike," while others speculated that maybe he is "just stoopid." Whatever the case may be, "the only one I know" for Burgess, may be his wife.
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